Avatar Essay Draft
By
Eric Pitzel
“You fly
now, with me! My brothers! Sisters! And we will show the Sky People... that
they cannot take whatever they want! And that this... this is our land!” This
is what Jake the leader of the Na'vi said to the blue people because he didn’t
want to be kicked off his land. This is just like the first nations in Canada.
An example of marginalization is when the Na'vi get pushed out of their homes
just as the First Nations were in the past. The Europeans who came to Canada
thought that they were the superior culture just like the sky people thought
they were better than the Na’vi. In Avatar the blue people and humans encounter
forms of marginalization, culture contact, ethnocentrism just like the
aboriginals in Canada.
In Canada,
as well as in the movie Avatar, the imperial aggressors that invaded their land
marginalized the aboriginal people. The humans on Pandora wanted a mineral called unobtanium. When the
Na’vi refused to cooperate with the humans they attacked and destroyed the
forest. The Na’vi were invaded just like the First Nations. Both were attacked
because they wouldn’t move or give up what was theirs. That is just some of the
examples of Marginalization in the movie.
There is
culture contact between the Na’vi and the humans in Avatar. The form of culture
contact in the movie is when the humans try to teach the Na’vi in schools. The
Aboriginals had their culture taken away from then through schools. The Na’vi
were taught a different language and taught how to live by the outsiders. The
humans tried to gain the Na’vi trust with schools and hospitals. When the Na’vi
would not cooperate and Jake failed his mission, the sky people attacked the
Na’vi home tree. The Director of the movie does a great job in relating the
culture contact between humans and Na’vi to the Europeans and First Nations
from our past.
Ethnocentrism
is when one culture thinks they are superior to another just like Americans
selling the black people in Africa for slaves. The colonel of the sky people
thinks that the Na’vi are savages and the only way to communicate with them is
through war. In history the Europeans came to Canada and lived in peace for a
while. The Europeans thought they were more powerful so they tried to take over
the First Nations people just like the humans in Avatar. In Avatar the humans
believe they are more advanced and powerful then the Na’vi, so they try to kill
them off.
The Beothuk
and the Na’vi tribe are very much alike because they both were tricked and
betrayed by the invaders. The Na’vi got their forest destroyed when the humans
shot it down with missiles. Both in our past and in the movie Avatar , the
advanced culture would try to take over. The Na’vi and the humans all have
contact between their way of life and culture.
I would recommend that you take out the sentence on marginalization, unless you add in the descriptions of each other point within your introduction.
ReplyDeleteya this was last class i the bell rang i wasnt finished
ReplyDeleteI think the statement is alright but perhaps it should be in the body paragraph about marginalization. It reads a little structured too. Perhaps you would want to re-word it to something like "When the Na'vi are pushed out of their homes just as cultures were in the past, is an example of marginalization"
ReplyDeleteI meant to put a comma after homes.
ReplyDeleteYour essay is pretty good but I have a few suggestions regarding content, structure and grammar. In your introduction you start off with a quote but do not explain it. I feel that perhaps you should try to connect it to the rest of your essay, especially to the rest of your introduction. Perhaps you could say something like: This was a quote from the movie Avatar where the main character is talking about defending the land of the aboriginal inhabitants. You would have to reword the "The Europeans..." sentence in order to make it flow. I would also take the line about marginalization out of the introduction as was commented previously.I would also eliminate all of this from your introduction: "which is a form of ethnocentrism. When two cultures meet and create a conflict it is called culture contact, when the Na’vi and the humans meet it is also culture contact. ...and many others..." It is not necessary. Other than the and many others phrase, your thesis is very good.
ReplyDeleteYour first body paragraph seems a little confused or vague. You seem to just give generic non-detailed statements here. How are the schools marginalization? You should also start with your topic sentence rather than ending with it. Try something like "In Canada, as well as in the movie Avatar, the aboriginal people were marginalized by the imperial aggressors that invaded their land."
In the second body paragraph you once again want to start out with a topic sentence. Write something about how ethnocentrism is prevalent in the film and history. You could easily use some examples from class here. We learned about the plight of the african people and the Beothuk people. They both faced extreme ethnocentrism. I am also confused by this statement "Usually the culture that thinks they are the best is" Many cultures think they are the best. Americans think they are the best. Does this mean they are or are we the best because we think we are? How about every other culture in the world that thinks they are the best? I am not sure what you are trying to say?
I would re-order your essay and your thesis. You should begin your topics with cultural contact, which is your weakest paragraph and also introduces the theme of globalization. Then you should put either marginalization or ethnocentrism (leaving your best paragraph for the last.)
The last paragraph might just need to go. Refer to the notes I handed out on writing essays for a conclusion. You have a few small grammatical issues as well that you may want to look for.
Overall this appears to be developing into a competent essay. Look at some of the other essays to see what may make them into exemplary essays.